On Meeting People

So I went to Mars Hill Ballard yesterday. I have to say it was a little odd. I mean, I’ve been listening to sermons by Mark Driscoll (1) for about a year and a half I suppose. Maybe a little more. Yesterday was the first time I ever actually saw him on stage. I mean, I’d seen videos. I even saw the live stream at downtown last week. But actually seeing him on stage was a little bit surreal. I don’t even know why.

I also started a book on the Trinity last night. Father, Son and Holy Spirit by Bruce A. Ware. I picked it up at the book thing at mars Hill. I’m not totally sure that anyone really understands the Trinity. However, that is how God chose to reveal himself, so I do think it’s got to be important. That being said, I think the author is a little over the top. I’ve only read about 20 pages, but I feel like he is portraying the trinity as the most important point of Christianity. Not God’s love, not God’s wrath, not God’s sovereignty (2), not the atonement. Yeah, we’ll see. I have no idea how long it’s going to take me to read. I mean, it’s categorized as a theology book, so it will hopefully be pretty in depth/complicated/hardcore.

You have to make you’re own scene. I know this. I had the conversation with Ollie and Zac (3) that this came out of. You can’t just wait for the scene to come to you. You need to do something about it. But I have a problem: I don’t know how to meet people. I realized this yesterday at church. I saw all these people that I wanted to become friends with. How many new friends did I make yesterday? Zero.

Don’t get me wrong – I can talk to people if I have something to talk about. But I can’t make the transition from one funny statement to hey let’s be friends. I really wish I would’ve went to the Men’s Advance this weekend. I would’ve met some people. But I found out about Saturday (4).

I’m good at making people laugh. One time. Example:

(in the book place at Mars Hill Ballard, which is way too small)
Guy 1: Excuse me. I don’t want to get in your way.
Guy 2: It’s cool. We’re all in each other’s ways.
Guy 1: Oh, in that case… (steps directly in front of guy 2; both laugh)
Me: Excuse me. (squeezes in next to guy 2; reaches right in front of guy 1 and grabs a Francis Shaeffer book that I almost bought)
Guy 1: Wow, we really are all in each other’s ways.
Me: Of course we are. It’s called community.
(everyone laughs)

I also had a short conversation with a girl at the grocery store later that night. But I left with no more friends than I began. And most of my friends at the hostel approached me, not the other way around. I don’t know……how do I do it? How do I meet people? Maybe I just have to do it?

I’m not really expecting you to solve my problems. But if you do, that would be amazing.

(1) In the future in my blog I will be referring to him as “Pastor Mark.” Since I’m going to MHC right now, I feel like calling him full name is a little too close to name dropping.
(2) Hello, loaded statement that I totally didn’t realize the implications of until I typed it.
(3) Definitely give Zac’s music a listen. I think the stuff that he does with Ollie is the best. I met Zac about a month before I moved. I met Ollie as I was on my way to the bus station to roll. They’re two of the coolest guys in the HBG, and if I was making my own scene in HBG, they’d be part of it. But only once they realized that Stephen Malkmus is sadly over the hill (or at least close). A blog on that to be posted at a later date.
(4) I’ve kinda missed announcements both Sundays I’ve been at MHC. What kind of a church starts on time?! Don’t you know I’m new and I’m going to get a little lost? I will be late. This Sunday I work until 6, so I’m going to a 7 pm. I should be able to be on time, especially if I go downtown. Which I probably will, just because I know the area a little better. Plus it will only be 2 blocks to the bus stop. No, wait – 3. Either way, closer than Ballard. But Ballard seems to be in a nicer area…I don’t know yet what I’ll do. I’ve been meaning to check out 7pm Ballard anyway…hmm…but buses could make me late….
Whoa, sorry. My brain just started throwing up.

On Overthinking

If I talked to you on the phone today, you know I’m stressing. In about 14 1/2 hours, I check out of the hostel and become homeless. Unless God comes through before then. And maybe He will. Or maybe he’ll make me wait even longer.

Tonight I was in line for dinner at the hostel. My phone rings. It’s been doing that a lot today. I answer.

“Uh, yeah. You posted on Craig’s List that you need a place to live?”

“Yeah, I need a place.”

He tells me about the place. It sounds good.

“When is it available?” I wait for him to say, “June 1.” After all, every apartment in Seattle is going to be vacant June 1.

“Well, you could move in tomorrow if you wanted to.”

Tomorrow. The day I’ll be homeless. Tomorrow.

More conversation ensues. “How much would rent be?” I said $500 on my CL post, but people have been calling me and emailing and telling me more.

“…you said $500, didn’t you?”

Sweet.

So I think about it. God provides. But it’s easy to see something else and say it’s him providing. But God won’t allow you to be tempted beyond what you can handle, and at that moment I was about as close to my breaking point as you can get. I was even thinking about trying to find a place in Portland for the weekend just to avoid everything. So God let me get close, and then intervened. Or do I just think so? I mean, I can’t read into it. But but but but but. Everything goes through my head. Too much. Too much Too much Too much Tmouoch.

Only a great fool would choose what was given to him. I’m not a great fool, so I can obviously not choose the glass in front of me. But you must have known I was not a great fool, so I can obviously not choose the glass in front of me. -The Princess Bride

Jesus, you made a way for Moses. Can you make a way for me? -twothirtyeight

The Search

“I sometimes feel I’m Holden Caulfield, sometimes Jack Kerouac…” -Five Iron Frenzy

You know, I guess I never really got that line before. I mean, don’t get me wrong – I got it. Catcher in the Rye is one of my favorite books. Book of Blues is up there as well. But I didn’t feel it.

I’ve lived in a hostel for 5 days now. Tomorrow I’m probably going to have to leave my hostel, as I don’t have a reservation and they’re full. I’m trying to get into the other hostel. But I don’t know.

I’ve been apartment hunting, but not hard enough. Now I’m stepping it up. Lots of emails and phone calls. But I mean, I’m kinda desperate. I’m at the mercy of everyone else. It’s forcing me to have faith. But I also think that it’s stressing me and giving me a possibly second ulcer.

I don’t know…pray for me. I’m kinda struggling.
And by kinda I mean really.

So, Seattle

Yeah. Here I am. As for rockingness and it’s similarity to a hurricane, I’m working on it.

For the sake of brevity, I’m not going to write about my trip yet. I recorded some memos for myself on that topic, so that should help me remember. Things that will be mentioned:

• The 2000 mile club (ATL, David, and Cece)
• Taylor
• my fingernails
• Janelle
• Mom and Pop
• that diner
• sleeping on a bus
• Montana (sans Hannah)
• the guy whom I met in the diner and then sat with whose name I forget
• To Kill a Mockingbird (I now go by Jem)
• the poem I wrote and read on the bus
• lots of other stuff

So I live in Seattle now. Currently I’m staying at The Green Tortoise. Tomorrow I go to look at a place in West Seattle. I also put some feelers out and talked to some people about it at church this morning. We’ll see what happens there.

I went to Mars Hill Downtown this morning. I have to say that actually seeing Mark Driscoll is way different than just listening to him. I’ve never watched the videos. It was also weird watching a sermon on the video screen, as it’s broadcast from main campus to all the campuses in the city.

Mars Hill. I was unsure. But wow. I was incredibly impressed. It’s on Western Ave, which is not all that ghetto, but for Seattle folks it’s rough. I mean, a guy tried to sell me drugs on the way to church and such. It’s not an area I’d way to raise kids. We’ll put it that way.

Speaking of the guy who tried to sell me drugs this morning.
He approached me. He kept asking me. “I have ____.” Every time I’d tell him I’m clean, he’d offer me something else. Finally he started to walk away. I heard him say something. Apparently he wasn’t talking to me, but I turned around and asked him what he said. Not in a rude way – just thought he was talking to me. He thought I wanted drugs.
“No man, I’m clean. I’m actually heading to church.”
“Church? For real? Pray for me man. My name is Mike.” He put out his fist, to which I put mine.
“I’ll totally pray for you Mike. If you ever wanna come to the church man, it’s at 2333 Western Ave.”
“Alright man, I’ll check it out sometime.”

It was crazy. It’s like one of those stories that you read about in a book, except the book always ends with the person praying a shallow prayer after hearing the gospel in 3 points. None of that. But definitely not like anything I’ve ever seen.

I also signed up for the Mars Hill social networking site The City.

After church I met some people. I kinda got a few housing leads like that. Also, Colin, one of the prayer guys, is going to see that the word gets out through community groups and such. Sweet.

Ummm…I’m sure there’s other stuff that I’m just not thinking of right now…

Umm…I’m leaving.

::at the time of my posting, t minus 1 hour 38 minutes until I’m gone.::

So I’m procrastinating packing more, again. Which is totally a good idea, seeing as I have over 16 hours before the bus leaves.

Leaving Harrisburg is a lot harder than it should be. I had dinner with Nikki tonight, and I just kept commenting that I can’t believe that I’m leaving. I mean, I’m really doing it. I’m getting out. That’s what you call it any time that someone actually leaves PA: getting out. You call it that because everyone talks about it, but so few people ever actually do it. And I know it’s that way a lot of places, but PA has the highest resident retention rate of any state. My entire family except my brother lives in PA.

Anyway, as I prepare to leave, I figured I’d make a list of things that I am going to do differently in Seattle. After all, HBG has been great, but not perfect. So here we go.

1) Be more social. Not only being social, but actively pursuing community. I’ve been talking to a lot more people outside of Sbux over the past month, and I’ve met some great people. There are really cool people everywhere that you go. It’s just a matter of meeting them.

It’s easy to be like, “Oh, this is Seattle. Everyone is cool. It’ll come to me.” But it never does. In the entire history of mankind, that’s happened about 3 times. I’m not referring to a specific 3. It’s just a number. A placeholder. But anyway, you have to make your own scene. I had a really interesting conversation about this the other day. With two of the aforementioned really cool people whom I just met.

2) Play guitar more. I love music. I really want to be more actively involved in making it with people. As I pursue goal 1, this becomes way more probable. But since I’ve been here, I haven’t really been playing very much at all. Everything that I used to be able to play I can’t play anymore. If the opportunity arose right now, there’s no way I could.

Furthermore, it’s good for me personally. It gives a creative outlet. It makes me more confident. It is a lot more productive than a lot of other things I could do.

3) Get a record player and listen to a lot more records. To quote Lucas in Empire Records Special Fan Remix Edition, “Some people say it doesn’t make a difference, but I say it’s the difference that makes it.”

4) Work to pay down my student loans as fast as possible. Today I realized that if I make all the minimum payments on schedule I will finish paying off my loans 25 Sept 2027. No way. I don’t play that way.

5) Take a chance with a girl. I mean, I’m not going to do this just to do it, but I’m going to take a chance when I find a girl who is worth that chance. I swore off girls for the time that I was here because of the shorth of my time here. In Seattle all bets are off. Look out, singe Christian ladies in Seattle. Both of you. Hey look – I made a Mark Driscoll joke there.

6) Get more involved in a church. That’s been a huge struggle for me here. I mean, I gowent to a great church here. I love the people. They love me. But I wasn’t very involved. And that’s not cool.

7) Have people over to my house. You know – maybe cooking for people, maybe leading a Bible study (which goes back to point 6), maybe jam (see point 2), maybe just having people over to hang out and really truly get to know each other.

For more info on this, see point 1.

Umm…I think there are more, but I can’t think of them right now. So you only get 7. In 16 hours and 3 minutes, I’m Seattle-bound.

::edit::1144 pm [T minus 15 hours, 16 minutes]
8…) Don’t be an idiot. I know this sounds really obvious. But it’s been on my to do list for the past two days. Sometimes when I’m crossing things off my to do list I say to myself, “I could cross that off, but I’d like to keep it up.” Other times I say, “Man, I wish I could cross that off right now.” I guess it’s a general life goal in a way. But also in a way I’ve been an idiot a lot here. I mean, not the world’s biggest idiot, but sometimes I just in general am. And I’d like to make those times a lot fewer. Ultimately, I’d like for those times to cease to exist. ::
::edit::139 pm 11 May 08
Sorry that point 8 was converted to a smiley. I promise it wasn’t on purpose.

The Weakening Album in the Digital Revolution

[I want to note up front that for the sake of clarity I am bolding album titles and italicizing song titles. This is solely for clarity. Mmm...Clarity.]

Like most people, I buy most of my music online. Upon moving to Seattle, one of my goals is to acquire a turntable, at which point I would buy and listen to a lot of vinyl. However, right now, I am primarily a digital guy.

This is not entirely bad: I can use emusic and the like to get music cheaply, as well as everything I find for free on music blogs, Pitchfork, podcasts, et al. Also, if an album is overall weak but has a few quality songs, I only buy the songs that I like. On top of that, I don’t have to search for hard to find albums. I NEVER under any circumstances would have found The Power of Failing by Mineral at any record store in Harrisburg. If I did find it, it probably would’ve been used (and very possibly scratched), on top of which it would have been more than $10. That’s the fourth benefit: price.

However, this morning I was talking to Zach (math teacher from SciTech HS, whom I wish I had met right away when I got here instead of like 3 weeks before I leave) about music, and the newest Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks album, Real Emotional Trash came up. We were discussing the fact that neither of us feel it’s really what it should be. I haven’t listened to it enough to really give a good solid judgement, but Zach blamed it on the mix. Apparently the mix on the vinyl is different and much better. Also, he mentioned that he often starts listening to it at Cold Son (track 3), listens all the way through, then listens to the first 2 tracks, resulting in the album ending at Hopskotch Willie. Indeed, a much better way to begin and end the album.

But this got me thinking: I had never sat down and listened to the album straight through. After all, that’s why iTunes has shuffle. I can listen to ALL my music, in no consistent order.

So I started thinking about how many albums I do this with. I’m sitting here right now for the first time listening to The Power of Failing straight through. It’s incredible. I always loved Gloria, especially the first 30 seconds or so. But the transition from Five, Eight, and Ten to Gloria changed the way I look at the world. Hyperbole, but still… (a rhetorical device commenting on another rhetorical device – is there a name for that?)

I feel like a lot of bands these days look at an album not as a whole, but as a collection of songs. While this isn’t necessarily bad, I do feel like we lose something. Consistency is key. And I wish we could get back to writing whole albums. However, that would require a lot fewer people to do what I do. I’m going to start listening to albums as a whole, and I encourage you to do so as well.

While I’m complaining about digital music, how about some artwork? I mean, iTunes now does digital artwork. Sometimes. It’s not bad. But I’d much rather have the paper artwork. Even that, though, is so often disappointing these days. I blame it largely on the size: the page in a CD booklet is 4.75″x4.71″. The two side by side would be 4.75″x9.42″. That’s tiny. I mean, records were about four times that. And remember cassettes? It was one long think piece of art.

And while I’m complaining about artwork, let me just say that I was super disappointed with the artwork for the latest REM album, Accelerate. I was pleasantly surprised to find REM finally releasing another good album, but the artwork sucked. It was like they typed all the info and gave it to someone, who randomly changed fonts and sizes, ignoring appearance, consistency, and readability.

I’m as much a part of the digital music problem as anyone. But I’m trying to do my best not to be. I encourage you to do the same.
———————-
So, what’s your all time favorite album? Mine is still Automatic for the People.